Not every villainous character is a great orator–but many of them are. We adore a well-written threat, a maniacal monologue, a speech of triumph. Properly scripted and delivered, your antagonist’s words can have deep and profound impact.
We’d love to give you some examples, but it’s been a long day and good writing is hard. So we’re going to give you some terrible writing instead.
Pro tip – Don’t have your villains say any of these things:
- “And now, we shall lower you into the shark pit! Sharks were expensive; we hope hamsters will do.”
- “You’re too late! I’ve already hit the self-destruct button for my fortress! Wait…why would I do that?”
- “At last, the world is mine! Well, not the entire world, but I’m at least going to claim this couch for a while.”
- “My hatred for the forces of Good is like an unquenchable fire! Or a really good hot sauce. Basically, it’s green and goes well on french fries.”
- “Foolish mortals! Soon you will know the wrath of…what was my name again? I think it was something vaguely menacing and could have been in Latin.”
- “Welcome to my tomb of horrors! Pleas sign this liability waiver so my insurance rates don’t go up.”
- “Haha! I have tied you to the train tracks! Now, we just need someone to invent the train.”
- “I will now leave you to a fate worse than death! Because I’m essentially masochistic and hoping you’ll escape and destroy me.”
- “You’ll never foil my plans! Because I don’t have any. I have no idea what I’m doing, really. Do you know how hard it is to get good career advice as a supervillain?”
-The Dark Lord Journal
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